Episode 17: Don't Cry Sweet Mokuzai

Ah, home sweet home. The feel of a fresh set of robes and the distant sounds of rehearsing choirs makes me feel younger by the minute. Pity everyone around me seems to be trying to stuff me into a pair of grown-up diapers.

Moon is more beautiful than I remember leaving her. Perhaps the horrors I've been through of late make things of beauty seem more beautiful, but no matter. Hiro and Ai came to visit me. Words can't describe my pride at how they turned out.

Mokuzai...
Damn that voice. It never heralds good news...

Ah, my grand-children. To think that Koume and Lyre are already looking to mates of their own... Maybe I growing a bit old for this. Koume is pregnant you say, Ai? And her mate is having trouble choosing a choir still? Bah! Tell her to do what makes her happy! Stuff the taboos if need be. Good thing I'm no longer an elder. I doubt I'd get away with saying that...

Mokuzai... Mokuzai, visit me...
Shut up! Can't I spend some time with my family in peace?

The funeral for Elder Winter was beautiful. All due respect was paid. Good. I can only hope for such a sending off when my time finally comes. High-Dive didn't even try to ruin it in some perverse way. Maybe she's growing? My own grandson Twilight Sang the final hymn himself. How old was he...? 15? And already capable of leading a song at such an important occasion? My dear little Twilight, how much I've missed in such a short time...

Mokuzai...
NOT NOW, DAMNIT!

Moon spends a great deal of time passing Elder Winter's wisdom and insights to us. She tells us the meaning behind the Wandering Star, and how it applies to us. She tells us what conjecture and myth surrounds our apparent fates. She tells us that all arrows seem to point in the direction of the Sealed Chamber. That it may well contain the key to our fates. And after a lot of one-on-one time with each of us studying our Katas, she tells us what our apparent... profiles... as gods are. It seems so strange to think of ourselves as Gods. She doesn't tell me what my profile is right away. She knows I know she's hiding it from me. I don't blame her. She wants me here. By all rights, my family needs me here. I'm going to be a great grandfather.

Mokuzai....
FINE! What is it?

The feathered face reveals itself in the Sanctuary. It tells me of the choice I must make. The choice between my family and my own peace, or a chance to bring peace to all. The terms it states are far more vague than that, but that is my interpretation. To choose between my purpose and my desires. Moon is crying, I can all but smell the tears of my children, grand-children, and yet unborn great-grandchildren. My happiness lies here. The sum worth of my life, my legacy, is here. But my purpose, the protection of said treasure, lies within the Sealed Chamber.

The memory of the Tee-Shee's nightmare flows through my head. Cheldrun missiles tearing vast voids in the Chantry, bullets perforating the faces of my friends and acquaintances, Heishi descending upon the huddled figures of my family, all with bloody voids where there should be eyes...

"Grandfather, leave the mourning to the professionals." Such wisdom from one so young...

"Dereliction of Duty is among the most honor-less of acts." Uncompromising men are easy to admire...

I pray my decision will lead to my own pain, and not the pain of my family. Martyrdom has never seemed so appealing.

5 comments:

Paul Wise said...

Poor Mokuzai.

I'm still betting that what we find beyond the door is puppies and sunshine.

Mario said...

If it's puppies and sunshine, there's a certain feather-faced prick I am GOING to strangle.

Aric Clark said...

how do you plan to strangle smoke and blossoms?

Joshua M Lee said...

Oh, he will find a way. It may or may not involve a vacuum cleaner and super glue...

Mario said...

I could try using tar and feathers


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