Episode 7: Rei's Homecoming

Pain. Incredible, overwhelming pain. I am... I am... who am I?

There was gas; I was able to fight it off by controlling my breathing, but there was nowhere to go. Then darkness, and then... three. Sever. Stitch. Another, an older girl about Rei's age Malicious, someone called her Malicious and they beat me and they strapped me to a table. But you cut her first, didn't you? You cut your enemy before you were overwhelmed. They cannot take that away...

An older woman. A robot? No, just a Biomade who had forgotten what it is to be Cheldrun. No matter. She injected me with... pain. She said I would hurt forever now. She was right. I retreated into the Void. I tried to shut my body down... so close to death, barely breathing, heartbeat practically gone. For a long time there was nothing, only the Void, and I was almost gone for good. Damn you, who am I?! Then I was back and in agony. The woman was angry, sweating; she had been working very hard to cause me this pain, to draw me out. She succeeded. Now it is time to die. I taunted her, hoping I could make her kill me. Even if I could not, I would not give her the satisfaction of thinking she had broken me. Bitch.

It went on forever. It starts with a K. My name. And then... it stopped. I became aware of a strange sound and the woman told someone to go check on it. She said I was unconscious. Almost, but not quite. Almost dead, but not quite. It did not really matter to me, but then I heard an even stranger sound, a keening and a horrible chittering; screams that were not my own. Such things exist? I saw her, the woman, fighting off something small and green. It seemed vaguely familiar, like I had known what it was once... WHO AM I? Then it was over. The woman had tried to stab the green thing with a syringe and stabbed herself instead. Now she lay there, unmoving. Dead. I envied her.

There was some tugging at my restraints, and then I was being moved. The pain was too much; I passed out. Will I ever wake again? Do I want to?

I awaken. The pain is not so bad. There is a woman hugging me, weeping. Mother? No, not my mother. My mother is mercifully dead these many years now. Funny I remember that when I do not even recall who I am. Three syllables. My name has three syllables. I feel like I should know this woman who is hugging me. Her tears make me feel better; her embrace feels warm and right. But I cannot recall her. Pretty purple feathers.

There is a man too. My... brother? Yes, he is your brother. But who are you? Who am I? Are we even the same person? The sight of him reminds me. I need... something. I reach for it; it is not there. I start gasping and babbling. I do not understand my own words, but my brother does, and the weeping woman. Both of them look horrified by what I am saying. I need my... honor. What is missing is my honor. I notice that my hair has been cut; it used to be quite long, I remember, but now it is raggedly cut to just above my ears. My honor is my life, and now it is gone. It is more important even than my name. I have lost them both, but my honor is more important...

They clean and bandage and clothe me. I do not care. They lead me somewhere; there is a large man and a pretty girl who tries to speak to my mind. I do not care. There is a fat man who welcomes us, and another man. A prill. Mokuzai. Not important. He says he will help us leave the city. I cannot leave, I must find my honor! And my name. I almost have it...

I sleep. Even in sleep I am in pain. Even in my dreams, one thought pervades. I have lost my honor. It is the longest night of my life. Every minute is eternity. I awaken to find a little green squirrel on my chest. She chitters sadly at me and proffers a small pouch; mine, I think, from long ago. But it is too small to contain my honor. I pet the squirrel and she curls up on my chest Pain! and goes to sleep. I too sleep, I think. It is hard to tell the difference. And it does not really matter.

There is a familiar presence, and something brushes my cheek. For just an instant I forget my pain and everything seems right. I open my eyes. The window is open and the curtains are flapping. Beside me lies my honor. Keibatsu. Aimi brought it back to me; she is still playing a game with me. Does she really care? Does it matter? She is free now, free to live a life as she chooses if she will only seize it. And yet she is still playing games with me. Why? No matter. Keibatsu is back. I feel a tear slide down my face and I thank Aimi for giving me back my honor. I will remember this kindness; I owe her.

In the morning I break my fast and garb myself. Outside I meet with the others. They seem surprised and pleased that I am seemingly recovered. It still hurts, but I have discovered that I am not as hurt as I feel; the pain is ever present, and thus, in a strange way, easier to ignore. I show my brother that I have Keibatsu. He is surprised, pleased, and says it is time for him to go, to take all of the Clan away from this city. I wish him luck. I would go with him, but I have... other things to attend to. He leaves. A woman comes. She says her name but I do not pay attention. We are taken to see our host. We come across dead guards. Enemies are here; they always are, it seems. I enter the Void. Even here the pain reaches me, but it is like a moth beating at the window. Three syllables and it starts with a K. Of course. I am Keibatsu; I am judgement. And for everything that they have done, my enemies shall weep in despair. I go to face my enemies.