Just Before the Rain of Frogs, I...

Please allow me to introduce... oh hell, that line is overused anyways. I'm Sif. Mechified, I guess. Raised on the closest farm to Geneva Prime, grew up being really fuckin' useful to everybody around me. That's sarcasm, by the way. Or maybe irony. Sometimes, I can't tell the difference. Anyways, I never really knew what I wanted to be useful for. Got a mechanical arm and everything, but it doesn't do much, except what arms do. My friends used to tell me I should become a farming model, but I have a hard enough time managing one mechanical limb. I don't think I'd want to bother with extra digits, or having a fucking plow attached to my nads or something. That's not exactly my thing, and I've gotten in trouble for it most of my life.

I guess a Mechified can't just be himself. He's got to be useful for something. Well I want to paint. How's that for useful? Yeah, paint. No tricky force-constructs, no energy patterns, just paint on a canvas.

... yeah, my parents didn't buy it either.

Neither did Rebecca.

I guess it shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. Being told that you're useless by your own fiance is a bit rough, though. Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca. Now there's a piece of work. Loud. Angry. Geared for office work. Yeah, a mechified office lady. We're not all miners. She'd got the data processor upgrades. You know, the ones where your fingers split open into like a hundred little fingers and you can type a thousand words a minute? She plugs into computer systems, too. Something about direct access and improved efficiency, harnessing a Cheldrun neural network. I have no idea what that means. I don't even know what the hell she does in Goshi tower every day. She's not allowed to talk about it. It's got something to do with the Heishi, but... yeah.

Anyways, I guess it comes as no surprise to know that this story starts with a girl. Most stories do. Or at least most stories that are worth listening to. It ends with one, too. Hey, symmetry. Ain't it grand? My life is a fucking poem. I hope somebody enjoys it.

Well, no, that's not true. I hope somebody chokes on it and dies. That's the sort of person I am. Now, at least.

I was in the fields when it happened, the walls of the city not a hundred yards away. You know, picking grapes for the harvest. Have to get the crop in before the year gets too late. Grapes are a finicky thing to grow, and ours are more finicky than most.

There I was, my fingers all stained with the juice of crushed grapes, already working up a sweat, when out comes Rebecca. She's as beautiful as ever, of course, and I tell her so, and she rolls her eyes like she always does when she thinks I'm brown nosing.

She really is beautiful.

"I'm going to work," she says, "You better not follow me again, or your supervisor's gonna be pissed."

I wrap my arms around her from behind and whisper into her ear, "Let him."

She gives me that look. You know the one. The one that says, 'you're an idiot, but I love you anyways.' "You can't afford to get in trouble again, Sif," she says. "Besides, whatever you've got planned, I'm sure we can do it two days from now. You know, the day we both have off?" She twists out of my arms and gives me a mischievous smile "Good things come to those who wait," she says, and taps me on the nose.

I grin, and she starts walking off to catch her train into Geneva Prime.

"You better not be messing with me again!" I call out after her.

"Me?" she asks, all innocence and light. I almost laugh. "Anyways, Joshua and Sarah are coming over tonight. You'll have the house ready for them, won't you?"

"Sure, sure," I say. I won't, but I say it anyways to make her happy. "See you when you get back."

She goes.

I should have stopped her, I guess. I could have. Maybe if I'd tried harder to appeal to her irresponsible side. Maybe if I'd told her I didn't like her working for Goshi. It's hard to avoid that, I guess, when they rule the whole damn world, but they're still creepy as hell, and I don't like the way those Heishi look. Should have done something, anyways.

I've never really been a religious man, you know. I live my life, I love the people I love, I work hard, and I try to get somewhere as a painter. Somewhere's better than nowhere, after all. I mean, I've seen those Allskins all pretentious with their First Mind worship, as if a bunch of dead Allskin ancestors are gonna bother to reply to anything we say to them, but I've never believed it. I hear the Karians worship the planet, and that's pretty weird, but better than worshiping your own grandparents, I guess. But what I saw in the skies that day...

Hours later, the day is almost over, and I'm still working in the field when there's a boom like thunder. I look up, and the sky over Geneva Prime has gone dark.

Funny. It hadn't looked like rain earlier. Our oak tree - the one my father planted when I was born, and the one I always take Rebecca to when we have time to kill - looks pale and dead in the shadow of the clouds. I guess it looks pale and dead anyways, but what can you do? It's still got leaves, at least.

There's another boom, and the wind begins to pick up. I gather up what I've picked so far and head for the shelter of the barn. Hell of a time to get caught in a rain.

Ribbit. Ribbit.
A pair of frogs hop into the barn. Then another. Then two more. Then another.

I look down at them curiously. "Huh," I say.

There's another boom, and then, in the distance, something red and gleaming falls from the sky. It lands about two hundred yards away - well inside the city walls - and I put my harvest down inside the barn and then head on over to see what it was.

... a nevergem? A red nevergem? Weird.

Something cracks against the back of my head. Sharp. Hard. OW. I reach back and... another nevergem?

What the hell?

The skies open.

Nevergems. It's raining nevergems. I'm being rained on by nevergems.

What the hell is going on? Is this ... some sort of god? Is this the First Minds? Karia, maybe? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. Why would some big time higher power decide to rain fucking nevergems of all things?

... the crop is gonna be ruined.

"Sif! Sif, what are you doing!?" It's Rebecca's voice. She's running from the train station, but she's loud, so I hear her anyways. "Get under cover!"

I look up into the downpour. There's a big heavy chunk of nevergem the size of a melon heading straight for my head.

"SIF!" She's running towards me. She staggers as one of those nevergems hits her leg, but she keeps running.

I stare.

Give me a break here. It's not every day it rain's nevergems. Just before it connects with my head, I have time for one last thought:

'Well, at least it's not frogs...'